As Ryan used more, he tried to protect us from his use and the poor decisions he was making that would reflect poorly on all of us. I was angry because Ryan wasn’t home. I need my family around me. I needed him around us. Family means everything to us which makes losing him so hard. Ryan could not explain why he used. One thing he said was he had seen and been a part of some bad things and he became very paranoid.

Ryan died on April 10, 2008. He was found in the apartment of known prescription drug abusers. A mother and two kids who used drugs so extensively, that they normally would not wake up until the afternoon. That is when they found Ryan at approximately 3 pm. The Medical Examiner's official cause of death was an accidental overdose of 4 different medications and possible nitrous oxide from a whippet. Ryan’s system simply shut down and he never woke up.